Day Eleven

I slept all the way through the night last night. With no medication, not even melatonin. And I slept until 8am. Of course, then I sort of pissed away the entire day, but, you know, sometimes that's what you do.

Tabitha called this evening. It was good to talk to her. She told me about her dad, and his experience as an Episcopal priest. It ran afoul in Vancouver, WA with a death threat from a parishioner and a heart attack. He isn't a priest anymore, needless to say, but she was telling me that he is a pretty emphatic atheist now, too.

Here's the thing, though. I'm not an atheist, according to my spellchecker, I can't even spell it. If anything, the fact that I don't confuse the church with God in the slightest was perhaps one of my problems. To be fair, I have no idea what my theological or pastoral problems might have been, the letter I got from my committee was about my personal problems, particularly, about the very things I spoke to them about right at the beginning about their asinine process.


I am thinking about posting that letter here, but even though I looked at it - the first time since I got it, it still just pisses me off. The medication is working, though, that is for sure. Because I'm actually not curled up in a ball of pain. I suppose that I will eventually need to do something about this, but right now, I think instead I will go back to this movie that I am watching, it is starting, finally, to get interesting.

Perhaps in the future, I will post it, and all the emails and the rest that I got which were also pretty hurtful. I'm not sure it it will help me, but I know that I no longer care if it will hurt anyone else. Medication is helpful in this at least.