June 15, 2011
Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I write to you as a
proud graduate of Church Divinity School of the Pacific. The pride,
pleasure and relief of this accomplishment is better expressed in a
picture, so I have attached a picture of being hooded by Dean Mark
Richardson, taken by Katie Keller, also from our diocese.
Even now, I am packing the rather abundant belongings of four people
and preparing for our return to Portland. Not all of the mechanics of
the move are completely known but I have always been blessed with easy
faith regarding material blessings.
As part of my further discerning how best to belong to God, I will be
returning to --- and to my work with the Commission to
End Racism. I have had very limited contact with these communities in
the three years that I have been in seminary, and great changes have
happened for us all. I am interested in exploring how reunion occurs.
How does the process of reengaging further my work as a reconciling
minister of God?
My time in seminary has been framed by my explorations and growing
awareness of the relationship between trust and authority. And I have
had the most amazing spiritual director while I have been here, who
has continually asked me, 'Where is God in all this?' and repeatedly
brought me out of my head and into my heart. It was in this process
that I unearthed my anxiety disorder, something that has been a
stumbling block to my ability to follow God with my whole being.
Exploring my own cognitive disordering, which is ongoing work, has
been the lived experience of how all things are being reconciled to
God. There are quite a few things that "aren't working for me" as my
therapist says, but that have, in fact, been used by God to increase
my sensitivity to the other in our midst. Realizing that I won't lose
that sensitivity, even as I am able to be in charge of my emotional
response to it has been a miracle worthy of any healing in the New
Testament. I begin to live the freedom of total dependance in God that
mystics speak of. I'm certainly no Julian, but I being to feel her
work with my soul rather than simply read it with my mind.
I have missed your visitation to --- but the Commission to End
Racism meets at the Close now, so perhaps I will see you in passing
this summer.
Blessings,
heather lee
